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Happiness, Magic and Fixing the Broken World

Posted on March 3, 2011 in Emotional Support, Essentials, Get Right with Your Business, Life-Shifting 2 Wise Words from Readers

"Help" by Alasis, appears courtesy of a creative commons license

If we crave happiness, shouldn’t we be happy?

Shouldn’t there be a way to be happy?

We crave happiness so much that some people say that happiness is here, apparent, abundant, and that all suffering is just the way we look at things.

And what I dislike more than bullshit, is bullshit with a little truth mixed in.

Happiness is here. And real suffering and limitations are too.

Happiness is our default setting.

It’s hard to remember that we are unlimited beings having a limited experience.

In our unlimited state, we’re happy! We’re blissed out. We are the very nature of it. It’s all good.

We come here to experience and learn in a limited space. We do this by choice.

And we come here to save the broken world.

Happiness and Limitation

Isaac Luria (amazing 16th century Jewish Mystic) explained the creation of the world this way:

There was everything.

Then, everything concentrated itself, and made a space, and in that space, vessels were created.

And they shattered.

I’ve thought about this creation story for 15 years.

Was the shattering a mistake?

Is this broken world a mistake?

Did God make a big mess? Was this mess made consciously?

This mistake, this mess, this limitation, this broken vessel.

What I know

We are not the mess.

We are the creatures created to address the mess.

We are unlimited beings in a broken world, with a default setting of bliss.

And we are here to deal with it.

What’s really funny about this?

We come here and we feel ridiculously small and ineffectual, and we pursue happiness. And the whole time, we’re here, as powerful beings, to fix the broken world.

What we remember, what’s home, is unlimited happiness.

We seek what we know.

And what we know is happiness.

Remember

You are magic to fix the broken world. Don’t forget that.

Happiness and a fixed broken world, they go together. They are the same thing.

You are magic to fix the broken world. It’s why you are here.


Magic and Doubt

Posted on March 2, 2011 in Emotional Support, Get Right with Your Business, Intuitive Bridge at Work, Life-Shifting, Living the Questions, Meet Your Inner Me, The Nature of the Universe 8 Wise Words from Readers

It takes time to believe in your magic. You’re going to feel doubt, a lot of it.

That’s part of the process. It’s part of the reveal. If you don’t feel doubt when encountering your magic, you haven’t gotten to the essence of it.

The best thing about your magic is that it is neither fleeting nor destructible.

You don’t have one chance, you have many chances.

Here’s the process for letting doubt help you accept your magic.

1. See your magic.
If you pay attention, you’ll see it. If feel that you can’t see it, hire me to see it for you. My magic is seeing people.

2.Let your real rational thought get to know your magic.
Once you know it (and right now, you probably know it), use your critical thinking skills and rational thought to get to know it. Feel around the edges of your gorgeous gifts.

My magic is seeing people. My magic is seeing the vital truth of people, their purpose, their energy, their fears, their everything. , I use this magic to talk with folks about their truth, to take this sight and make it tangible and useful for them.

3. Test your magic.
You only know the nature of your magic by testing it, trying it, feeling around the edges, getting to know every part of it.

4. Validate it.
I ask for feedback and validation. Not validation in terms of Am I good enough? But validation as in Was I right? Does this resonate? How does this feel to you?

I validate it to find the right circumstances where my magic is strongest.

I validate to know it.

I validate all the time.

Magic made real

Validation is a real measurement of my magic’s power.

5. Recognize and Accept your Magic.
This is the whole talking about it, and being okay with it phase. Every step up to this makes us ready for the recognition and acceptance. It is the hardest part. Recognizing and accepting is the hardest part.

Recognizing and accepting is when magic is made real in my eyes. And that’s when I can settle into it and have it be an easy part of me.


Soul-Note: Tell Me About My Magic

Posted on March 1, 2011 in Meet Your Inner Me I'd love to know your thoughts!

Yesterday, I asked about enough-ness. And I got the message to pay attention to my magic. What does that mean? What is my magic?

Inner Me shows me leaning over a plant, pulling away the leaves around it, and a ray of light shines down.

Your magic is recognition, she says. Your magic is seeing the unique truth of others. Your magic is seeing.

You’ll see that my magic is, in truth, a somewhat little thing.

My magic is seeing.

It’s a little thing with the potential for big results.

I think if you sat quietly for an hour, and lightly contemplated it, your magic would appear to you. If you’d rather I tell you, I can.

Judging Your Magic

You may find that you judge your magic when it is revealed. You may find it hard to revel in your magic. This is a limitation of our ability to see the entirety of our magic. Like a picture of a galaxy, it will seem little.

My inner me says Pay attention. She does not mention the size of my magic.

This magic is here to help us to remember the fullness of who we are and to DO SOMETHING WITH IT.


Soul-Note: Pay Attention to Your Magic

Posted on February 28, 2011 in Emotional Support 1 Comment

"Sparkler" appears courtesy of derekskey via creative commons license

Deep down, many of us harbor a secret that we aren’t enough. That somehow, through some fluke, we’ve been given a life we need to live up to, and well, our little secret is that we aren’t enough to live it. We are somehow not enough.

Inner Me said: Not only are you enough, you’re magic. Don’t worry about flow, or rest, or love. Just pay attention to your magic.

When I thought of the question, “Am I enough?”, I thought that the answer would be logical. I imagined that there will be an algebraic equation: me=enough.

That’s not how it worked at all.

Pay attention to your magic. You’ve got some some-some.


You Cannot Kick Yourself to Glory

Posted on February 22, 2011 in The Buttons 10 Wise Words from Readers

Courtesy of pasukaru76 via a creative commons license.

You can only kick yourself into a corner.
Somehow we’ve got it in our heads that we have to push ourselves to success and if the carrot doesn’t get us there fast enough, the stick will.

The Stick Sucks

If you are stopped, tuckered out, or stagnated, it’s not because you suck. Or you’re not good enough, or you are god forbid lazy.

It’s that there’s something about your environment that’s not fostering your growth.

Try this

Go buy a plant. Put it outside. And go out and yell at it every day.

Tell it to grow faster.

Tell it that it’s not good enough and if people find out what a shit plant it is, well, that will just be the end of everything.

Point out other plants that are successfully growing. Ask the plant why it can’t be more like those other plants.

Tell it that you’re too busy to water it right now or to give it plant food, you’ll do that later.

Do little to augment the environment it’s in.

Accuse it of being lazy and taking shortcuts.

See what happens.

This is silly, right?

The stick does not work.

The stick breeds resentment and a lack of enthusiasm.

Feeling Your Way

That feeling you have, the one that’s in the way of your smooth success?

Feel it. Don’t tell yourself that you are flawed for having it. Feel it.

Stop avoiding it.

You are not too busy to feel your feelings, unless you are currently hands-deep in someone’s chest massaging their heart. And if that’s the case, why are you reading my blog at the same time? Focus, heart surgeon! Focus!

The only way to stop feeling an emotion is to feel the emotion. Don’t avoid it. Don’t wait it out. Don’t ignore it and try to work instead. Feel it.

This is not the time to ask why. You can ask why later.

Close your eyes right now and feel your feelings. It is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Foster the environment that grows you

We need good soil, warmth, and adequate light. And because we have muscles, we need to move. And because we’re emotional, we need friends.

Take two hours and make easy-to-grab food.
Do your laundry.
Set up your office.
Exercise daily, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Do it outside if possible.
Do something fun and social and that has no way of helping you other than being fun.
Figure out what you need to feel relaxed and motivated. Do that.

You will not get there faster if you just grind your way through it. You will find yourself in the inertia that exists when your environment does not support you.

If you do those two things, you’ll be successful

If you don’t, you won’t. I don’t have a lot of ultimatums on this blog. That’s one of them.

Here’s a Button:


Susan Piver : Hearts Wide Open

Posted on February 14, 2011 in Guests 3 Wise Words from Readers

Susan Piver had her heart shattered by someone she deeply loved. And then she wrote a book about it.

The Wisdom of a Broken Heart teaches how a broken heart can be an invitation to compassion and presence.

Susan’s book talks about the kind of heartbreak where you think you won’t ever get over it. The heartbreak where you are shattered to the core, and where you are suddenly raw and aware and where everything touches you.

I’ve been there. I bet you have, too. Or perhaps you’re there now.

Susan gives in-the-moment advice to step you through the experience of heartbreak and the transformation that comes after.

It’s so strange how the thing that breaks us can be the thing that makes us.

I talked with Susan Piver about her book and about the purpose of heartbreak. If you’re in the space of heartbreak, this interview will help you. And if you’re in a place of deep love, this interview will help you too.

I thought I’d transcribe it, but I want you to hear the tenor of Susan’s voice, and the deep compassion she brings to even a simple conversation.

The Interview

32 minutes of wisdom. Right Here.

Wisdom of a Broken Heart Interview

I highly recommend the Wisdom of a Broken Heart.


There are people who will not like you.

Posted on February 13, 2011 in Essentials, Living the Questions 16 Wise Words from Readers

People ask this question:

Photo appears courtesy of Kevin Spenser via a Creative Commons License

Should I be authentic?

What they are really asking is:

Will people respect me if I let my freak flag fly?

Will people buy from me if I’m different?

How different?

What part of my personality is most relate-able and therefore sell-able?

The conventional wisdom is: yes, be authentic. Be really authentic. Be extra-authentic. People yearn to know you.

And the truth is: people only want to know you and read your work if it enriches their life.

That’s hard to hear, right?

It is so compelling, this desire for people to like us. We so want to be liked. I want to be liked. I want whatever I do to be relevant and liked.

Isn’t it interesting this assumption that many of us have? The assumption that if we just nail this authenticity thing, everyone will like us?

It doesn’t matter if you are Elizabeth Gilbert or Seth Godin or Jesus, there are people who will not like you. There are people who will find that your work and your personality do not enrich their life.

And here’s the thing: Once you realize that not everybody needs to like you, it takes the edge off.

You can say whatever you want.

You can say what you think, because unless you are full-on crazy, there are people for which your words will resonate.

But what about my clients?

So happy you asked.

If you need to write to attain clients (like I do), you need to do this one very hard thing:

Differentiate between what you’d like to say, what you need to say and what your clients need to hear.

There is a space where the last two come together. That’s where you write with authenticity and relevance.

We need to write from the space where what’s deeply relevant to us enriches the lives of our readers and clients.

It’s a space without apology. A space where you stop caring about what people think of you and start caring about what people think, period.

It’s a meaty, gorgeous space, this space of authentic writing.

You need to find that for yourself. Make a list of what really rings true for you. See what matters to others. Write that. That’s authentic, and helpful and that’s where you need to be.


Stop Sucking Up.

Posted on February 10, 2011 in Living the Questions 33 Wise Words from Readers

Confession: I have sucked up to people in perceived places of power.

Let me define sucking up for you.

A-It’s saying, Hey, I like what you did there! not really because you liked what they did, but because you want them to promote you and your stuff.

B-It’s blindly re-tweeting without reading the article or weighing the value of it to your readers.

C-It’s being an affiliate and selling product you don’t believe in.

D-It’s recommending a person when you don’t know their work.

E-It’s being really nice to somebody above you at your job.

All just because that person has a greater reach than you.

All in the hopes that a person in power will throw you a bone.

That’s not fair to them. And it’s not fair to you.

The Trouble with Sucking Up

Here’s the list:

1.It’s not useful to you. If you’re not producing work that the person in a perceived place of power finds valuable, you’re not going to get very far into their reach.

2. It’s not useful to you. It’s a waste of time that could be better spent working on your work, asking peers for information and validation, moving forward in other ways.

3. It’s not useful to the person in power. Blindly promoting means that the perceived person of value has no way to gauge the value of their work. And this lowers the bar. And believe me, the bar does not need to be lowered.

4. It’s not useful to you. You will stink of neediness. And when you do start producing valuable amazing work, it will take longer for people in perceived places of power to notice and promote that work.

5. It’s not useful to me. I am so tired of reading about how somebody took a leak and it sparkled. If you suck up, and I click on that link, or hire that person and it’s substandard, that experience will bother me, which in turn is

6. Not useful to you because your reputation turns from objective to smarmy.

I want to be astounded by people’s work. I want online content that rocks my world, and it’s not really happening anymore.

Casting Your Own No Confidence Vote

You suck up when you have little confidence in your work. That’s the primary reason. That’s why I did it.

When I have real confidence in my work, I approach perceived people of power differently. I approach them as a peer, a peer they don’t know about yet.

The experience is profoundly different.

If you do not have confidence in your work, you should not be hoping that people are promoting it.

You should be working to make it better, finding a group of peers to validate it for you and hiring smart people when you need them.

And you should be doing the emotional work you need to do for when your work is stellar. You should be learning to stand in a place of power, because we need that from you.

It is not enough to get others to say you’re great.

It’s enough to be great. Go Be Great.


Here’s a button:

Cut it out. Tape it up.


Accept the Suck, Except the Suck

Posted on January 24, 2011 in Living the Questions 10 Wise Words from Readers

Accept the Suck, Except the Suck

When are we going to get over the surprise that life takes effort and that excellent outcomes have uncomfortable steps?

We have to accept that suck is part of the experience, and then we have to get beyond the idea that suck is the whole experience.

Exhibit A: Yubby

Yubby is a 15-lb. monster bunny that my 13-year old found at the Urban Farm Store.

I got talked into fostering Yubby.

Bunnies are cute and cuddly.

They are adorable when they eat spinach leaves and wiggle their noses.

And this particular rabbit is also unfixed and has the testicles of a lion.From a rabbit’s perspective, Yubby is HOT.

He’s all You know what they say about the size of a rabbit’s ears, winkety wink.

This bunny is like the Elvis of bunnies. And I was wondering where all the girl bunnies were. I thought they’d be lining the sidewalk. Apparently, Yubby was wondering too, because he hopped around my kid’s room and marked his territory with urine and musk.

(Later, our rabbit expert friend, Sarah, told me that this was a sign that Yubby was comfortable. Yubby made himself comfortable all over my kid’s $300 rug. And I spent 4 hours cleaning it.)

Yes, why does my kid have a $300 rug? This might go under the same category as why were we fostering a rabbit?

Our weekend with Yubby rated a little higher on the suck-o-meter than I expected.

And once I accepted and excepted the suck, (Yes, the suck happened (accept), and also, besides the suck, check out all the awesome(except) everything turned out okay.

Except the Suck

Here’s the non-sucky bits.

My kid got to experience what it would be like to own a rabbit.

He got to make good rabbit friends (Hot Yubby and Hawt Lily) and he met my friend, Sarah, who runs a nonprofit that takes bunnies into nursing homes and hospitals and provides bunny therapy to people who really need it.

And now, my kid is going to go along and put bunnies in the laps of the sick and elderly. And he is psyched about it!

I got to see the many different facial expressions that a rabbit can have, including Yubby’s stink-eye. Rabbits have the most compelling facial expressions. You could do a rabbit telenovela, and I would totally understand it.

Also, we saved a bunny’s life, and now Yubby has found a new home, and he is no longer wrecking my rug.
Yubby gets to hang out with Lily, who is spayed and has the largest dewlap I’ve ever seen (which makes her HAWT LILY).

HAWT LILY!

Suck-o-meter, kinda high. Outcome, freaking fabulous.

Life is going to suck sometimes.

Don’t let the suck deter you. It’s not a sign from the Gods that you are doing it wrong or that you shouldn’t have undertaken the experience.  It’s just part of our unlimited selves experiencing this limited (yet worthy) experience.


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